Herneith

Folks, there is something wrong with me.  I am in a constant state of hilarity!  Things other people cry at or are frightened of, I laugh at.  I remember seeing that movie ‘The Exorcist’.  It scared the shit out of most people, but I laughed at the scenes where the girl’s head turned, and she spews vomit and cuss words whilst floating in the air.  Most people tell me they couldn’t sleep after seeing this.  I couldn’t either because my gut hurt.    There was another movie called ‘Legion’ about angels invading to bring about the ‘Apocalypse’.  Well, I almost pissed my drawers!  I was prostrate on the floor (it’s a good thing I was at home).

I also laugh when people wipe out in the snow.  I have slipped and wiped out in the snow many a time to the point where I have learned to relax while falling.  Once, I slipped and fell on my back and had a hard time getting up due to the icy pavement.  An ignorant asshole passed by, took one look, smiled and kept going.  Suffice it to say; I eventually managed to get up without wiping out again.  The memory still brings a chuckle.

I was taking driving lessons and ran the car over a street sign!  My response?  Peals of laughter.  If I’m on the subway, and I see someone acting ‘bizarrely’ I will observe the observers of the loon’s behaviour.  Their reactions slay me.  Do you know what it’s like to want to laugh and you can’t?  Torture.  I had a mentally ill man come up to me and start swearing and screaming at me.  I daren’t  laugh lest it propel him to worse actions.  I ignored him, and he went on to some other woman who smiled at him cussing me out.  It wasn’t until the bus came and the man left was I able to laugh it off.  I had a drug addict come up to me on the streetcar asking to lend him ten dollars.  By the time he got to me, he managed to harass and intimidate every woman on the streetcar.  I asked him why he needed ten dollars.  He told me he was going to buy ‘crack’, then go and see his probation officer.  I asked him how he would pay me back; after he ‘got out of jail’ he replied.  I told him I didn’t have ten dollars for him to buy ‘crack’.  The streetcar driver told him to get off the streetcar eventually after hasrassing all those women on the streetcar.  He told the streetcar driver to ‘fuck off’ as a parting gesture.

Why write this bullshit?  I am in a jocular frame of mind and had to blow some of it off.  Everyone needs a hobby.  One of my hobbies is writing bullshit on a blog albeit intermittently.

Tasty Tyrone the perfect boyfriend.  Knows when to shut the fuck up, which is all the time!

Tall, dark and plastic!  you won’t have to worry where Tasty Tyrone is at night.  He is rolled up in your closet.