Archive for category Goofisms

I Love Jocularity!!!! (so blow me)!


Folks, there is something wrong with me.  I am in a constant state of hilarity!  Things other people cry at or are frightened of, I laugh at.  I remember seeing that movie ‘The Exorcist’.  It scared the shit out of most people, but I laughed at the scenes where the girl’s head turned, and she spews vomit and cuss words whilst floating in the air.  Most people tell me they couldn’t sleep after seeing this.  I couldn’t either because my gut hurt.    There was another movie called ‘Legion’ about angels invading to bring about the ‘Apocalypse’.  Well, I almost pissed my drawers!  I was prostrate on the floor (it’s a good thing I was at home).

 

I also laugh when people wipe out in the snow.  I have slipped and wiped out in the snow many a time to the point where I have learned to relax while falling.  Once, I slipped and fell on my back and had a hard time getting up due to the icy pavement.  An ignorant asshole passed by, took one look, smiled and kept going.  Suffice it to say; I eventually managed to get up without wiping out again.  The memory still brings a chuckle.

I was taking driving lessons and ran the car over a street sign!  My response?  Peals of laughter.  If I’m on the subway, and I see someone acting ‘bizarrely’ I will observe the observers of the loon’s behaviour.  Their reactions slay me.  Do you know what it’s like to want to laugh and you can’t?  Torture.  I had a mentally ill man come up to me and start swearing and screaming at me.  I daren’t  laugh lest it propel him to worse actions.  I ignored him, and he went on to some other woman who smiled at him cussing me out.  It wasn’t until the bus came and the man left was I able to laugh it off.  I had a drug addict come up to me on the streetcar asking to lend him ten dollars.  By the time he got to me, he managed to harass and intimidate every woman on the streetcar.  I asked him why he needed ten dollars.  He told me he was going to buy ‘crack’, then go and see his probation officer.  I asked him how he would pay me back; after he ‘got out of jail’ he replied.  I told him I didn’t have ten dollars for him to buy ‘crack’.  The streetcar driver told him to get off the streetcar eventually after hasrassing all those women on the streetcar.  He told the streetcar driver to ‘fuck off’ as a parting gesture.

 

Why write this bullshit?  I am in a jocular frame of mind and had to blow some of it off.  Everyone needs a hobby.  One of my hobbies is writing bullshit on a blog albeit intermittently.

Tall, dark and handsome

Tasty Tyrone the perfect boyfriend.  Knows when to shut the fuck up, which is all the time!

Tall, dark and handsome

Tall, dark and plastic!  you won’t have to worry where Tasty Tyrone is at night.  He is rolled up in your closet.

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Dumbfuck!


”’Dumbfuck”’

Sometimes abbreviated to dumbfuck. It is a vulgarism, a compliment(depends on how one interprets it), but in essence, it is a cuss (curse) word. It refers to people who are engaged in sexual intercourse, colloquially of course, not actually, and are dumb(stupid). In fact, they may be too stupid to engage in sexual intercourse as they may stick their whatsit(another colloquialism), in the wrong hole. In any case, this can be used to describe some modes of behaviour such as goofy, far out, bizarre pseudo-scientific theories, maniacal ramblings in the name of politics, basically a catchall phrase for jackasses. Users of this cuss word may use it for the following:

Being cut off in traffic by a truck no less!  “That dumbfuck!”  If you are still alive!

Tripping into an invisible sinkhole in public!  “What a dumbfuck I am”!  To offset any embarrassment by tuning the embarrassment into a joke.

Almost getting run over by a vehicle whilst crossing the street on a red light. “The dumbfuck”

Reading goofy pseudo-science tomes written and promoted by you guessed it,  dumbfucks engaged in dumbfuckery.

A pedestrian crossing the street on a green light, an example of both a dumbfuck and someone who engages in dumbfuckery(the two aren’t mutually exclusive, sometimes we do stupid things)

The lists of dumbfucks who indulge in dumbfuckery are endless, take your pick!

”’In Popular ”””Culture”’

As with any cuss word, the popularity of this usage may be regional.’   Dumbfuckery can be said to be in the eye of the beholder or the ear, the dumbfuck may try to stick something in it as many of them take things literally!  Don’t ever tell them to “shove it up your ass”  They may just do that!  That would serve as an example!

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Are Black Women Ugly or is it Small Peckered Men That Make Them So?


So, I came across this post .  In it, this ass crack by the name of Satoshi Kanazawa,

Hi, My Name Is One Ugly Fuck. I Write Bullshit Professionally. Will You Be My Friend?

makes the scientific claim that Black women are the most unattractive due to an overdose of testosterone!  This theory also explains why black men are the ,most attractive!  Folks, and I use the term lightly, that’s a bunch of bullshit if I ever heard any.  First the ‘race realist HBDers’ , now this fool.  Will it ever stop?  Everyone has got a theory, I am no different!

Here’s my theory.  It all comes down to pecker size!  That’s right, it is all in pursuit of the almighty leg-over, the horizontal mambo if you will.  The trick is to make your competitor look worse than you are and this can extend to groups.  Let me use Asians as an example.  First off, let me clarify that Asia is not a country!  It consist of hundreds if not thousands of different languages, ethnicities, culture, phenotypes and so forth, etc. etc..  Now in order to compete for some tail, here’s what you do.  You emasculate the competing group by mythologizing their penis size, give them ‘effeminate’ features, tie intelligence to pecker size.  Of course you will have to position yourself as being ‘just’ right amongst the ends of the spectrum.

Like The Hair, Or Is It My Eyes You Are Looking At?

Once you’ve positioned yourself thus, you get to work!  You paint Asian men as being on one end of the spectrum, the highest ones being the ‘smart’ Asian men, albeit with small peckers.  The Black men who are the most attractive, you must hyper sexualize them to the extent that most women(except their own) are scared shitless of their  big peckers and uber manliness.  You make up stories and statistics as to how these brutes will sexually

attack women and hurt them with their oversized peckers!  Add to this that most have low IQs, you’ve got quite a scare tactic don’t you?  You then position yourself as the golden median between the two ends of the spectrum.

But you know what?  These tactics didn’t work too long did they?  The horny heifers got hip to your ways! Instead of being frightened off, you piqued their curiosity!      You scare off the bitches with visions of this type of Black man:

Hi, my name is Henry. I own a hair salon and am accepting new customers. I have a special on this week for perms and weaves! Come on girls! hehehehehe!

However, this is closer to the reality:

Like my coin belt? Like the hair. Look but don’t touch! Buttocks you can carry trays on heifers!

OOps sorry, that picture was for my beefcake/muscular buttocks post!  Here:

Hiiiiii!!!!!!

So you see, your machinations go only so far.   Write all the academic tomes you want.  Research, research research!  Pull all the stats out of your ass that you can(most people don’t understand them anyways).  What do women really want?  Well here’s my paradigm, it’s based on four footed animals, since there seems to be a trend towards comparing men’s behaviour to animals!:

—The Tiger!—The tiger in bed!!!Yowza!!!!!

The Jackass—The jackass to pay for it all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

beautifulback

See something you like? My coin belt for instance? I get all the bitches, it’s too bad I don’t like em. Me and my man are going for supper!

Which one are you?  The Tiger or the jackass?    I’d hazard a guess and say this Kuntazawa is a jackass!  Ideally, a woman would prefer both of these animals!  So you see, it has nothing to do with looks.  A massive pay cheque also gets the woman’s juices flowing!  If all else fails for you pecker sizist ‘race realists, there is always the palm sisters Agnes and Arlene!!  The Palm sister Award goes to this gearbox, Satoshi!    Good day to you!                      Sorry but that picture to the right begs for an encore!!!!!!!  Yeaaaah baby!!!!!!

 

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Lunatics Who Post Bullshit!


I do not peruse many blogs.  The ones I do, I do because the author of that particular blog basically thinks the same way I do, or I agree with almost everything they post (so shoot me!) .  One blog I frequent almost religiously, has some cockamamie  posters, and that is an understatement!  Many a time, I have almost ruined my keyboard whilst sipping a beverage and spitting it out when reading some of these responses!  Let the hilarity commence say I!  This blog seems to attract its’ fair share of gearboxes, tools, and goofs.  Why do I think these responses are hilarious?  Let me count the ways.

Number 1; Being wilfully obtuse when responding to other responders.  Totally missing the mark altogether!  Then, having the audacity to tell the author of the post that they are basically full of shit, but not in so many words!  Listen jackass, you are, for the most part responding to an anonymous writer in many instances.  Do you really think that the writer gives a flying fuck as to what you think?  Especially when you are insulting their intelligence with your cluelessness?  Stupid is as stupid does!  You are the embodiment of that phrase.

For some reason, these clowns actually think they are contributing to the posts with their idiotic remarks.  It’s the old; “I say tomato, you say tomaato”, conundrum!  Herein lies the comical aspects of their responses.  Ever see a shittily made film?   Shitty, because the creator was serious about the film when it was made, and this is what made the film unintentionally funny!  1950s science fiction films come to mind.  Well that is how these posters are!  They are serious and totally unaware of the jocular aspects of their responses!   What is even funnier is the sane people who get dragged into responding to their post.  I, myself have been a ‘victim’ of this.  I soon learned to pit nonsense against nonsense as that is what these turds are expounding!  Remember, you can’t make silk from a sow’s ear, these posters are excellent examples of this.

Number 2; Racist ass wipes!  Who’d a thunk heh?  Well I never.  These particular goofs employ pseudo-science to prove that they are superior to all others!   What their arguments really come down to is pecker size!  “I may have a smaller pecker, but you have a smaller brain” to be exact.  To prove they aren’t racist, they will use Asians.  Here’s the ‘pecker’ and ‘intelligence’ linkage and not being ‘racist’ because, well because;  Asians, the highest IQs, northern Asians such as Japanese, Koreans, and Chinese in particular.  Their darker skinned ‘brethren’ are less intelligent, but have bigger peckers!  Next, are the whites, they have bigger peckers and are smart, but not as smart as the Northern Asians!  I guess their darker brethren such as Italians and Spaniards ain’t that ‘intelligent either!  But no worries, they have bigger peckers!  Lastly and you have probably guessed it, are blacks!  They are dumb with big peckers.

Now the whites are just right as they are smart and their peckers are the right size.  Hence they are the happy median between the two.  The whites who expound these ‘theories, can’t be racists as Asians are smarter than them on average.  Too bad about the smaller peckers though!  If you talk to most men and ask them what they would prefer, being smarter, or a bigger pecker, 95% of men will want a bigger pecker.  Now how these weirdos managed to measure every pecker in the world to make these correlations is beyond me.  How they managed to measure the intelligence of every living human on the planet is another quandary.  Who would sit long enough for some fool and answer nonsensical questions unless they were getting paid?  Another fool perhaps?
Anyhow, there is endless jokes and comical fodder contained within these responses!  Enough for further posts in the future! I do not wish to be guilty of that which I chastise other gearboxes for, so I’ll quit while I can for now!  This is but a small sampling!  Good day to you all!

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