Posts Tagged Bullshit

King Shit From Turd’s Island or the Travails of a Troll!


Folks, I use that term lightly,   I was perusing some blogs written by some young fellows:

http://brothawolf.wordpress.com/

http://abagond.wordpress.com/

These young men(no they are not my kids),  are seeking knowledge and answers in life.   In fact they have the patience of Job in regards to some of these clowns who reply to their posts!  . Their blogs are quite enjoyable especially when lunatic trolls post there.   There are hilarious fucks who visit their blogs with the most confounding bullshit and fucktardidness! What is even more gut busting, is that these fucktards actually believe the bullshit they are expounding. Personally I find these clowns to be hilarious. However, the bloggers for the most part don’t. In fact in many instances, they seem to be too polite and kindhearted until the jackass wears out their welcome and gets progressively more belligerent! What to do with these leviathans of lunacy? Why ridicule them!  Young men, here’s my advice to you, cherish it!

Hone your ad-hominess and cussing skills when dealing with them. Throw all the ‘straw man’ arguments at them you can! In short, meet bullshit with bullshit! These clowns for the most part are oxygen thieves, who go to blogs diametrically opposed to their way of thinking and bombard them with reams of garbage, and then, have the nerve to insult their ‘intelligence’ if they refuse to debate them. So be it turd, just fuck off and go get acquainted with the palm sisters!  I realize that everyone needs a hobby but these fools are ridiculous!

The ones who I find to be particularly funny, are the racists who debate their points of views under the guise of science. There is a sucker born every minute but I ain’t one of them! No, I recognize an asshole when I come across one be it in print, in person or whatever medium. Being perverse myself to a certain extent, I find these goofs to be quite entertaining in a bizarre way.  Besides, it comes in handy being a weirdo oneself!  Garbage being paraded as ‘science’ or’ intellectual discourse’, well MAD magazine can make those claims also.  MAD magazine is intentionally funny but these goofs ain’t.  I compare their diatribes to sitting on the toilet straining for a shit and needing something to read whilst doing so, to hell with the contents, reading the ingredients on a soup can will do!  Besides, a good laugh may make your bowels move finally, Ex-lax not withstanding!

Then there are the regular posters who get sidetracked by these behemoths of bullshit!  They get sucked into these rejects so-called debates.  These particular buttocks warts, are too cowardly to call someone a name, or do not want to seem to be dumb arseholes who resort to obscenities and name-calling.(I for one would and don’t have any problems doing this, must be genetic). Well fellows, these jackasses deserve your scorn and more.  In other words, don’t waste your breath on these oxygen thieves!  The only purpose they serve is that of comical and bowel relief, you’ll shit yourself laughing!  Oh yeah, invest in toilet paper!  Oh, and remember;

Bwahahahah!!!!! BillyBob the laughing horse!

If you need assistance cursing people out:

https://herneithmyblog.com/category/humour/cussin/

Good Day to you!!

I'd say!

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Dumbfuck!


”’Dumbfuck”’

Sometimes abbreviated to dumbfuck. It is a vulgarism, a compliment(depends on how one interprets it), but in essence, it is a cuss (curse) word. It refers to people who are engaged in sexual intercourse, colloquially of course, not actually, and are dumb(stupid). In fact, they may be too stupid to engage in sexual intercourse as they may stick their whatsit(another colloquialism), in the wrong hole. In any case, this can be used to describe some modes of behaviour such as goofy, far out, bizarre pseudo-scientific theories, maniacal ramblings in the name of politics, basically a catchall phrase for jackasses. Users of this cuss word may use it for the following:

Being cut off in traffic by a truck no less!  “That dumbfuck!”  If you are still alive!

Tripping into an invisible sinkhole in public!  “What a dumbfuck I am”!  To offset any embarrassment by tuning the embarrassment into a joke.

Almost getting run over by a vehicle whilst crossing the street on a red light. “The dumbfuck”

Reading goofy pseudo-science tomes written and promoted by you guessed it,  dumbfucks engaged in dumbfuckery.

A pedestrian crossing the street on a green light, an example of both a dumbfuck and someone who engages in dumbfuckery(the two aren’t mutually exclusive, sometimes we do stupid things)

The lists of dumbfucks who indulge in dumbfuckery are endless, take your pick!

”’In Popular ”””Culture”’

As with any cuss word, the popularity of this usage may be regional.’   Dumbfuckery can be said to be in the eye of the beholder or the ear, the dumbfuck may try to stick something in it as many of them take things literally!  Don’t ever tell them to “shove it up your ass”  They may just do that!  That would serve as an example!

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I’m From Your..Err I Mean Uranus!


Let the hilarity commence!  I remember reading that classic tome in goofery, ‘Chariots of the Gods’.  The book, and those others of that type, claim, that the harbingers of civilization were aliens.  Then there are the ones who claim that we, as a species were created by aliens(an experiment gone wrong as it turns out).  These postulations or pustules, if you like, were made for many things, but in-depth analysis ain’t one of them.  One thing they were made for however was the infinite fodder for hilarity inherent in these suppositions.  I am going to do one of those ‘what if ‘ scenarios, that is if I can stop laughing long enough!  Let the goofery commence, sirrah!

10,000 years ago in the wilds of Africa(These space ships always land in Africa or some other remote place where mankind doesn’t initially see them).  The aliens are either here to research ‘man’, or are shipwrecked and must make do with what is available at the time ala Robinson Crusoe.  In interacting with the lowly beast-like humanoids, they give them ‘knowledge’ that accelerate man’s evolution and development.  Hence such ancient civilizations as the Egyptians, Mesopotamian, Inca, Aztec, Chinese, hell, anywhere where the inhabitants weren’t white, were created by aliens!  Of course the white advanced civilizations started out of thin air.  No aliens for them unless they were genetically engineered by the aliens!  That explains their ‘superiority’ to others!

Not even a trashy dime novelist or serial writer could come up with some of this crap! Here’s my take on what an alien would do if the crash/landed on earth, it taint pretty but provides an insight into these ‘aliens’.

“On a wind blown night somewhere in bumf*ck nowhere, on a remote plain or forest, or savanna, take your pick, a UFO crashes/lands.  Out pops tall gorgeous man whores, I mean aliens! Here’s two aliens fighting over some heifer whilst Tars Tarkas referees:

image

Hey! You missed my pecker by a few inches! Dotar: How so Tars? You are hung like a hamster!!!

image

I love to have my ears stroked . Stroke me baby, stroke me! Apparently that is his species erogenous zone!

You see they are not that much different than humans!  Guess what?  Most of these aliens would be white or a reasonable facsimile thereof. However these aliens got here, they do the following;  Take a look around, seek ‘intelligent’ life, which they do-not find.   Smelly, filthy, half nekkid hairy assholes do-not count!  It is at this point that Godzilla enters the picture devours some of the aliens, burps farts, and goes to sleep.  Alternately, the alien gets back on their spaceship and hightails it out of there.  If the alien crash lands, he proceeds to commit suicide by taking a flying leap off a cliff.   My scenario would be over in about five to ten minutes of the alien landing.  ‘They came, they saw, they fucked off!’

funny-pictures-alien-kitten-GXm

Suffering Succotash!

Another alternative view?  Perhaps this is indeed a vacation spot ala the Predator movies.  This is according to those who posit that aliens taught the ancient societies their advanced culture/knowledge.  In this scenario, they would have treated the humans like pets.  You see, they probably missed Fluorite, from their home planet:

image

@#$%^@! Huh?

Or perhaps *()&^%$#(no equivalent in the human tongue): At least )(*&^%, doesn’t try to hump your leg or sniff your crotch!  The only thing they taught these humans was to jump, sit, stay, roll over and such.  Such was their regard for the lowly humans.  They viewed the humans at best as reminders of their beloved pets back on Uranus or nuisances to be avoided at all costs!  In any case, they did not stick around for longer than they had to!

For those of you who believe that the aliens fostered these ancient cultures, perhaps you also believe in Santa Claus.  So be it, now go play with Uranus!

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