Archive for category Bullocks!

My Trials and Tribulations!

A fucking moose tonguing a car! Better the car than me. Perhaps he thought the car was an ex?
That’s what I call a clean car if you like moose spittle!  I hate moose meat!

He was hung like a horse!  That got your attention eh?  Bunch of pigs!  I only run a clean blog!  Anywho I wanted to write about my travails with driving. Tweren’t pretty!

I went for my first Driver’s test and failed!  Well, the test started out easily until the tester told me to parallel park!  There were mounds of snow along the sides of the road!  Anyways, I did as she instructed and ended up backing into a snow bank.  Well, it took me about five motherfucking minutes to get out of the fucking snow bank.  Did I write I run a ‘clean’ blog?  I lied.

Let me give you a little background on myself when it comes to getting nervous.  I get gaseous when nervous.  Compounded with the hilarious thoughts popping into my head, are the silent killer emissions emanating from my rectum.  Well once this happens, I start laughing!  Well, I couldn’t laugh as the tester was getting progressively agitated.  Imagine trying to hold your buttocks together and not laugh out loud while doing it!  Torture!   This fucked up the rest of the test.  Imagine trying to suppress your laughter and gas at the same time.  Anywho, it was downhill from there, I failed!

I had an invaluable experience, though; next time take Bromo Seltzer and ex-lax the night before the test!  I rebooked.  I need a fucking car!


I Love Jocularity!!!! (so blow me)!

Folks, there is something wrong with me.  I am in a constant state of hilarity!  Things other people cry at or are frightened of, I laugh at.  I remember seeing that movie ‘The Exorcist’.  It scared the shit out of most people, but I laughed at the scenes where the girl’s head turned, and she spews vomit and cuss words whilst floating in the air.  Most people tell me they couldn’t sleep after seeing this.  I couldn’t either because my gut hurt.    There was another movie called ‘Legion’ about angels invading to bring about the ‘Apocalypse’.  Well, I almost pissed my drawers!  I was prostrate on the floor (it’s a good thing I was at home).


I also laugh when people wipe out in the snow.  I have slipped and wiped out in the snow many a time to the point where I have learned to relax while falling.  Once, I slipped and fell on my back and had a hard time getting up due to the icy pavement.  An ignorant asshole passed by, took one look, smiled and kept going.  Suffice it to say; I eventually managed to get up without wiping out again.  The memory still brings a chuckle.

I was taking driving lessons and ran the car over a street sign!  My response?  Peals of laughter.  If I’m on the subway, and I see someone acting ‘bizarrely’ I will observe the observers of the loon’s behaviour.  Their reactions slay me.  Do you know what it’s like to want to laugh and you can’t?  Torture.  I had a mentally ill man come up to me and start swearing and screaming at me.  I daren’t  laugh lest it propel him to worse actions.  I ignored him, and he went on to some other woman who smiled at him cussing me out.  It wasn’t until the bus came and the man left was I able to laugh it off.  I had a drug addict come up to me on the streetcar asking to lend him ten dollars.  By the time he got to me, he managed to harass and intimidate every woman on the streetcar.  I asked him why he needed ten dollars.  He told me he was going to buy ‘crack’, then go and see his probation officer.  I asked him how he would pay me back; after he ‘got out of jail’ he replied.  I told him I didn’t have ten dollars for him to buy ‘crack’.  The streetcar driver told him to get off the streetcar eventually after hasrassing all those women on the streetcar.  He told the streetcar driver to ‘fuck off’ as a parting gesture.


Why write this bullshit?  I am in a jocular frame of mind and had to blow some of it off.  Everyone needs a hobby.  One of my hobbies is writing bullshit on a blog albeit intermittently.

Tall, dark and handsome

Tasty Tyrone the perfect boyfriend.  Knows when to shut the fuck up, which is all the time!

Tall, dark and handsome

Tall, dark and plastic!  you won’t have to worry where Tasty Tyrone is at night.  He is rolled up in your closet.


Comical Song of the Week!

Born, born to be alive (Won’t you be alive) You see you were born Born, born (Born to be alive)

People ask me why I never find a place to stop And settle down, down, down But I never wanted all those things People need to justify Their lives, lives, lives

You see you were Born, born, born to be alive (Born to be alive) You see you were Born, born, born (Born to be alive) It’s good to be alive To be alive To be alive

It’s good to be alive To be alive To be alive

It’s good to be alive

Time was on my side When I was running down the street It was so fine, fine, fine A suitcase and an old guitar And something new to occupy My mind, mind, mind

You see you were born, born Born to be alive (Born to be alive) You see you were born, born, born (Born to be alive) You see you were born, born Born to be alive (Born to be alive) You see you were born, born, born (Born to be alive) You see you were born, born Born to be alive (Born to be alive) You see you were born, born, born (To be alive) Born, born to be alive (Born to be alive) You see you were born, born, born (Born to be alive) Born, born to be alive

Nuff Said, if this doesn’t bust your gut, nothing will!


How to Deal with the White Racist

Hi, Mikey here.  I am as crazy as a bag of hammers!  It's because I am invred.

Hi, Mikey here. I am as crazy as a bag of hammers! It’s because I am invred.

I was reading a blog post from Sepultura13:  .  In this post she discusses mental illness and the disparities in perceptions when it comes to white loons and black loons.  I thought I would add my own two cents as a sort of footnote, but also some advice!  Fasten your seatbelts because it ain’t pretty, when was mental illness ever so?

These white folks are driving me crazy to the point of making me cross-eyed!

These white folks are driving me crazy to the point of making me cross-eyed!

Many Black folk who suffer from mental illness I suspect,  do so mostly as a result of racism which may be internalized and manifests accordingly.  When these white, murderous  spree killers, mass murderers and other assorted  evil assholes do what they do best, they are given  labels which basically characterizes them as anomalies, that is, something external caused them to be like this.  If a black person does any of these things, there is something inherently wrong with them or by extension their communities.  Because of these disparate views, whites blame external forces, whilst blacks internalize hatred and lash out in many instances against each other.   Internalized racism can manifests itself in many ways from something seemingly innocuous, to violent acting out against other black folk.  This is where self-awareness comes in to play as a remedy(not a cure if you are actually suffering from a mental illness) against such.   Self knowledge goes a long way in preventing many of the ills down the road of life, the name of the game being prevention.  The more knowledge you acquire about yourself, your history, background, society and how it works in general, the better prepared you will be in navigating society’s white supremacy.  I always half-jokingly say I am glad I grew among mostly whites, as it prepared me and set me on the road to acquiring knowledge at an early age.  I learned early what day it was.  As I got older, I learned the intricacies and complexities of racism and was able to put a name to racist modes of behaviour.

Hey, I'm not as mean as I look!

Hey, I’m not as mean as I look!

Hate is all too easy – that is woefully apparent on the interwebs.

Yes, that is an understatement!  But then again, people hate what they fear.  This can paralyze people out of effecting any change.  Hate does nothing.  Action does!  Don’t hate cogitate!  Excessive negative emotions only serves to empower the ones evoking or wielding some sort of power over you.  Take the tools that they put in place so that they can feel good about themselves(we are helping those coloureds!), and use them!  Cull the wheat from the chaff, the crabs who want to cling to the other crabs in the barrel in regards to the kerchief heads.  Let em!  You only have control over yourself.  Controlling other’s (unless they are into S&M, or your husband, just joking!), is a colossal waste of time.  Once you realize this, you are half way there(wherever there is).  You will meet other like minded persons along the way.

Sing after me(to the refrain of "Three Blind Mice', "Three dumbfucks!

Sing after me(to the refrain of “Three Blind Mice’), “Three dumbfucks! Three dumbfucks’. At least we’re getting paid arseholes!

Mock the fools and don’t try and educate them in ‘niggerology’ when they ask you why black people do such and such.  Tell them you don’t know every black person in the world or even in the area you live, so you can’t answer their stupid and racist questions.  In fact, deride them for their ignorance by asking them why so many white men enjoy molesting children or some like question.  The responses are hilarious.  However, many are too stupid to correlate the stupidity and derailment of your response to their asinine question, so more comedy will ensue!  After dropping this little morsel,  leave and ignore them, don’t give them a chane to bring up up stupid racist questions or make statements about black criminals for instance, or some other racist argument.  Oh, and try to do this with a straight face(I get a good laugh out of these types of fools).  They are not really interested in what you have to say, they just want to reinforce whatever racist stereotype they have.  They can use what the black person says to ‘educate’ their white friends using you as their barometer.  Many black people fall for this.  Many black folk delight in having this opportunity to enlighten these white folks, as they think they are perhaps, making them less ‘racist’ by doing so, or, maybe they are so starved for attention from these whites, who knows?  Who gives a shit?  Keep walking.  They can educate themselves the same way I did when I had to learn about my history on my own.  The schools sure as fuck didn’t.  They still don’t, teachers I know will attest to this!! (that’s another post!)

If you or anyone you know suffers from any form of mental illness such as depression, get help in whatever form.   Mental Illness should not be tabooed or seen solely as a ‘white’ thing, regardless of the racist perception of blacks and mental illness.   If you find yourself constantly in a state of anger, meditate and  educate yourself and confront and speak to what is angering you, to hell with naysayers.  People will either respect you or give you a wide berth, the wide berth being preferable especially when you are dealing with assholes.  The dumb can remain dumb as it is energy draining to try to educate them which is something they can do themselves.


Hi, I’m just doing what every human man wishes he could do but can’t! Jealous? Happy New Years!!! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahzahahaahahah!!!!

Anywho, that’s all for now!  Happy New Years!!!!


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