Posts Tagged Dumbfuck
Dear Hernie, help!!!!
I have been married for five years to an otherwise lovely man! I have ten children from a previous marriage eight of whom still live with us although they are adults. He has three adult children who are employed in good jobs and live on their own. Hernie, here’s the problem, we are constantly fighting over the kids, his and mine! He is constantly ragging on me to tell my kids to get jobs and move out! Hernie, they are still ‘finding’ themselves! He complains about the grocery bills, heating bills, and other living expenses. He claims my kids ‘eat him out of house and home’! His kids rarely come over and when they do, they do not stay long. Their dad meets them outside the home mostly. I get the impression they look down on me! Help Hernie, this marriage is going nowhere fast!
Dear ‘I have ten children’, there is a sucker born every minute, evidently your husband is one of them! Eight adult kids still at home? Throw the fuckers out and tell them to get jobs, whatever comes first! As for your husband? Why on earth would he have married you? Can you lick the chrome off a fender or something? On second thought, you are not as dumb as you sound to have snagged such a husband. Hell, most men would have run from a woman like you. Why don’t you share your secret? Are you from Mississippi by chance? Perhaps you are a hillbilly from Tennessee? Whatever the case, that man should cut his losses and hightail it out of this marriage before your eight ‘adult’ kids and yourself ruin him financially. What say you? In any case, fuck off and get a life! Here’s a video that brings you to mind:
P.S. You should have kept your legs crossed and your drawers up!
Hernie the anti-advice, advice columnist!
Folks, I use that term lightly, I was perusing some blogs written by some young fellows:
These young men(no they are not my kids), are seeking knowledge and answers in life. In fact they have the patience of Job in regards to some of these clowns who reply to their posts! . Their blogs are quite enjoyable especially when lunatic trolls post there. There are hilarious fucks who visit their blogs with the most confounding bullshit and fucktardidness! What is even more gut busting, is that these fucktards actually believe the bullshit they are expounding. Personally I find these clowns to be hilarious. However, the bloggers for the most part don’t. In fact in many instances, they seem to be too polite and kindhearted until the jackass wears out their welcome and gets progressively more belligerent! What to do with these leviathans of lunacy? Why ridicule them! Young men, here’s my advice to you, cherish it!
Hone your ad-hominess and cussing skills when dealing with them. Throw all the ‘straw man’ arguments at them you can! In short, meet bullshit with bullshit! These clowns for the most part are oxygen thieves, who go to blogs diametrically opposed to their way of thinking and bombard them with reams of garbage, and then, have the nerve to insult their ‘intelligence’ if they refuse to debate them. So be it turd, just fuck off and go get acquainted with the palm sisters! I realize that everyone needs a hobby but these fools are ridiculous!
The ones who I find to be particularly funny, are the racists who debate their points of views under the guise of science. There is a sucker born every minute but I ain’t one of them! No, I recognize an asshole when I come across one be it in print, in person or whatever medium. Being perverse myself to a certain extent, I find these goofs to be quite entertaining in a bizarre way. Besides, it comes in handy being a weirdo oneself! Garbage being paraded as ‘science’ or’ intellectual discourse’, well MAD magazine can make those claims also. MAD magazine is intentionally funny but these goofs ain’t. I compare their diatribes to sitting on the toilet straining for a shit and needing something to read whilst doing so, to hell with the contents, reading the ingredients on a soup can will do! Besides, a good laugh may make your bowels move finally, Ex-lax not withstanding!
Then there are the regular posters who get sidetracked by these behemoths of bullshit! They get sucked into these rejects so-called debates. These particular buttocks warts, are too cowardly to call someone a name, or do not want to seem to be dumb arseholes who resort to obscenities and name-calling.(I for one would and don’t have any problems doing this, must be genetic). Well fellows, these jackasses deserve your scorn and more. In other words, don’t waste your breath on these oxygen thieves! The only purpose they serve is that of comical and bowel relief, you’ll shit yourself laughing! Oh yeah, invest in toilet paper! Oh, and remember;
If you need assistance cursing people out:
Good Day to you!!
Sometimes abbreviated to dumbfuck. It is a vulgarism, a compliment(depends on how one interprets it), but in essence, it is a cuss (curse) word. It refers to people who are engaged in sexual intercourse, colloquially of course, not actually, and are dumb(stupid). In fact, they may be too stupid to engage in sexual intercourse as they may stick their whatsit(another colloquialism), in the wrong hole. In any case, this can be used to describe some modes of behaviour such as goofy, far out, bizarre pseudo-scientific theories, maniacal ramblings in the name of politics, basically a catchall phrase for jackasses. Users of this cuss word may use it for the following:
Being cut off in traffic by a truck no less! “That dumbfuck!” If you are still alive!
Tripping into an invisible sinkhole in public! “What a dumbfuck I am”! To offset any embarrassment by tuning the embarrassment into a joke.
Almost getting run over by a vehicle whilst crossing the street on a red light. “The dumbfuck”
Reading goofy pseudo-science tomes written and promoted by you guessed it, dumbfucks engaged in dumbfuckery.
A pedestrian crossing the street on a green light, an example of both a dumbfuck and someone who engages in dumbfuckery(the two aren’t mutually exclusive, sometimes we do stupid things)
The lists of dumbfucks who indulge in dumbfuckery are endless, take your pick!
”’In Popular ”””Culture”’
As with any cuss word, the popularity of this usage may be regional.’ Dumbfuckery can be said to be in the eye of the beholder or the ear, the dumbfuck may try to stick something in it as many of them take things literally! Don’t ever tell them to “shove it up your ass” They may just do that! That would serve as an example!