Archive for category Humour

Leghorn Foghorn, The Sexiest Bird Ever!


Leghorn Foghorn!  Just uttering his name out loud sends me into the throes of ecstasy!  Has there ever been such a sexy bird!!!!!!  Get a load of those muscular thighs!:

Such a pensive sex bomb.   With that beak, he  could peck the brass off a door knob!   I just love that Southern accent, it reminds me of the Beverly Hillbillies but with manners!

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Dumbfuck!


”’Dumbfuck”’

Sometimes abbreviated to dumbfuck. It is a vulgarism, a compliment(depends on how one interprets it), but in essence, it is a cuss (curse) word. It refers to people who are engaged in sexual intercourse, colloquially of course, not actually, and are dumb(stupid). In fact, they may be too stupid to engage in sexual intercourse as they may stick their whatsit(another colloquialism), in the wrong hole. In any case, this can be used to describe some modes of behaviour such as goofy, far out, bizarre pseudo-scientific theories, maniacal ramblings in the name of politics, basically a catchall phrase for jackasses. Users of this cuss word may use it for the following:

Being cut off in traffic by a truck no less!  “That dumbfuck!”  If you are still alive!

Tripping into an invisible sinkhole in public!  “What a dumbfuck I am”!  To offset any embarrassment by tuning the embarrassment into a joke.

Almost getting run over by a vehicle whilst crossing the street on a red light. “The dumbfuck”

Reading goofy pseudo-science tomes written and promoted by you guessed it,  dumbfucks engaged in dumbfuckery.

A pedestrian crossing the street on a green light, an example of both a dumbfuck and someone who engages in dumbfuckery(the two aren’t mutually exclusive, sometimes we do stupid things)

The lists of dumbfucks who indulge in dumbfuckery are endless, take your pick!

”’In Popular ”””Culture”’

As with any cuss word, the popularity of this usage may be regional.’   Dumbfuckery can be said to be in the eye of the beholder or the ear, the dumbfuck may try to stick something in it as many of them take things literally!  Don’t ever tell them to “shove it up your ass”  They may just do that!  That would serve as an example!

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Lunatics Who Post Bullshit!


I do not peruse many blogs.  The ones I do, I do because the author of that particular blog basically thinks the same way I do, or I agree with almost everything they post (so shoot me!) .  One blog I frequent almost religiously, has some cockamamie  posters, and that is an understatement!  Many a time, I have almost ruined my keyboard whilst sipping a beverage and spitting it out when reading some of these responses!  Let the hilarity commence say I!  This blog seems to attract its’ fair share of gearboxes, tools, and goofs.  Why do I think these responses are hilarious?  Let me count the ways.

Number 1; Being wilfully obtuse when responding to other responders.  Totally missing the mark altogether!  Then, having the audacity to tell the author of the post that they are basically full of shit, but not in so many words!  Listen jackass, you are, for the most part responding to an anonymous writer in many instances.  Do you really think that the writer gives a flying fuck as to what you think?  Especially when you are insulting their intelligence with your cluelessness?  Stupid is as stupid does!  You are the embodiment of that phrase.

For some reason, these clowns actually think they are contributing to the posts with their idiotic remarks.  It’s the old; “I say tomato, you say tomaato”, conundrum!  Herein lies the comical aspects of their responses.  Ever see a shittily made film?   Shitty, because the creator was serious about the film when it was made, and this is what made the film unintentionally funny!  1950s science fiction films come to mind.  Well that is how these posters are!  They are serious and totally unaware of the jocular aspects of their responses!   What is even funnier is the sane people who get dragged into responding to their post.  I, myself have been a ‘victim’ of this.  I soon learned to pit nonsense against nonsense as that is what these turds are expounding!  Remember, you can’t make silk from a sow’s ear, these posters are excellent examples of this.

Number 2; Racist ass wipes!  Who’d a thunk heh?  Well I never.  These particular goofs employ pseudo-science to prove that they are superior to all others!   What their arguments really come down to is pecker size!  “I may have a smaller pecker, but you have a smaller brain” to be exact.  To prove they aren’t racist, they will use Asians.  Here’s the ‘pecker’ and ‘intelligence’ linkage and not being ‘racist’ because, well because;  Asians, the highest IQs, northern Asians such as Japanese, Koreans, and Chinese in particular.  Their darker skinned ‘brethren’ are less intelligent, but have bigger peckers!  Next, are the whites, they have bigger peckers and are smart, but not as smart as the Northern Asians!  I guess their darker brethren such as Italians and Spaniards ain’t that ‘intelligent either!  But no worries, they have bigger peckers!  Lastly and you have probably guessed it, are blacks!  They are dumb with big peckers.

Now the whites are just right as they are smart and their peckers are the right size.  Hence they are the happy median between the two.  The whites who expound these ‘theories, can’t be racists as Asians are smarter than them on average.  Too bad about the smaller peckers though!  If you talk to most men and ask them what they would prefer, being smarter, or a bigger pecker, 95% of men will want a bigger pecker.  Now how these weirdos managed to measure every pecker in the world to make these correlations is beyond me.  How they managed to measure the intelligence of every living human on the planet is another quandary.  Who would sit long enough for some fool and answer nonsensical questions unless they were getting paid?  Another fool perhaps?
Anyhow, there is endless jokes and comical fodder contained within these responses!  Enough for further posts in the future! I do not wish to be guilty of that which I chastise other gearboxes for, so I’ll quit while I can for now!  This is but a small sampling!  Good day to you all!

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Proctologist, er I mean prognosis for 2011(Posts)


I would like to write the following posts for 2011!

  1. BEEFCAKE!
  2. Social spoofs, I mean commentary!
  3. Shopping motherhubbard!
  4. The where and whys of why we are here
  5. Racism and how it affects goofs and assholes.
  6. Whatever.

Stayed tuned, someone has to!

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