Hernie’s Guide to Finding a Man!!!!

Why hello there! I have been receiving queries about getting a man! As fate would have it, I have a sure fire way of doing so! Here’s the to-do girls, listen up I will not repeat myself! I got the following letter from one reader;

“Dear Hernie, I am a thirty-something woman, attractive (so people have told me), well-educated with a well-paying job. Hernie, I can’t seem to find a decent man despite all these attributes. Hernie, my biological clock is ticking I need to find a man toot suite!

Well here’s my advice. Do the following; 1. Put on a mini-skirt without draws underneath. 2. Put on a pair of stiletto shoes. 3. Pile the make up on so you look like a street walker (men like that, especially the drunks). Put on a tight top to show off your tits, they are not just for suckling potential infants. If you are flat chested, stuff your bra with Kleenex and push those boobies up! 4. Hie yourself down to the local truck stop. 5. Walk up and down and around the truck stop swaying your hips provocatively (it sends a signal to potential mates that you are ready to breed!). 6. Bend over now and then on the pretext of picking something you dropped on the ground (this is really effective as the man sees the ‘goods’ so to speak). This is a sure fire way of getting a man, I use this ruse all the time.

Really, get a grip! Men can sense a desperate woman a mile off! Hell a woman can sense a desperate man from a mile off. Relax, enjoy yourself, show some confidence and you will find a man, or one will find you. Better yet, learn to like yourself and stop conforming to societies demands for women! It is okay to remain unmarried, kidless, married, kids, the possibilities are seemingly endless. Anywho, I am off to the Bingo parlour!

A goof I met at the truck stop!

Hernie, the anti-advice advice giver!

  1. #1 by diaryofanegress on April 30, 2013 - 19:07


    You think she’ll take your advice?

  2. #2 by Kwamla on May 1, 2013 - 05:05

    LOL!!! Any advice for men?

  3. #3 by Herneith on May 1, 2013 - 20:58

    That’s another post!

    • #4 by sepultura13 on May 3, 2013 - 11:03

      Hey Herneith – will you be watching the Blue Jays vs. the Mariners? Do you even like baseball?!? Anyway, may the better team win…if the Jays take it, I’ll send you a virtual 6-pack of Bridgeport Kingpin; if the Ms win, send me a virtual bottle of Arrogant Bastard Ale! 😆

  4. #5 by Herneith on May 3, 2013 - 21:12

    The only thing I like about baseball are the man haunches! If the Jays win, send me a box of Belgium Chocolates!

    • #6 by sepultura13 on May 10, 2013 - 20:35

      LOL – I hear ya there! Man haunches…the top five Mariners with hot haunches, in no particular order:
      Michael Morse
      Endy Chavez
      Kyle Seager
      Kelly Shoppach
      Jesus Montero

      Those are some freakin’ HAWT HAUNCHES!!! 😀

      • #7 by Herneith on May 11, 2013 - 19:46

        Haunches by any other name are still haunches!!!! I must google those names! Thanks. Who one the Blue Jay series?

  5. #8 by sepultura13 on May 13, 2013 - 21:05

    Mariners won the series 2 – 1…but the 2 – 10 loss in the last game was certainly embarrassing. Still, they were all a pleasure to watch!

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