My ‘Awakening’-Part 1

Hello.  This post is about my awakening to white supremacy.  No I did not read books or listen to others.  I went with my intuition.  I was able to put sociological terms to it at a later time.  This is about coming awake without the aid of such tools on my own.  I first became aware of white supremacy at a very young age, three to be exact.  My mother had taken me ‘trick or treating’.  We came to this house and a white woman opened the door.  Upon clapping eyes on me, she exclaimed to her husband; “Come here and look at the cute little nigger dear”!  My mother became angry and took me home immediately.  When I got home, I ran to my father laughing and informed him my mother had gotten mad at some lady because she called me an ‘eagle’! For the most part I have been laughing at these fools ever since.

Onwards and upwards of downwards however you wish to look at it, I further experienced white racism in school and with neighbours. At the time there were very few blacks in Toronto, or at least in the area I lived. Because black people were few and far between, I became easy prey for the blatant racism meted out by whites. This would include being bombarded with such names as nigger, spook, coon, jungle bunny, spear chucker and porch monkey, on a constant basis. I was constantly told that my hair looked like a brillo pad etc., etc. Some even went as far as to touch my hair whilst telling me this. It is a good thing I became an artist with my fist and feet! It also helped that I had other people who could educate me as to the mechanisms of white supremacy albeit in a crude and basic way (sometimes that is the best way!). I was not fed the ‘kumbaya’ can’t we all get along bullshit, rather, white folks weren’t and aren’t right, and they despise black people. Deconstructing white supremacy would come later with more education mostly sought out by myself. To date, I think most whites prefer to keep black folk in the dark, especially the ones who prefer to remain there, not me!

At a young age, for some reason, I was attracted to Ancient Egypt. When my parents took me to the museum or I went with my class, I inexplicably identified with them! These reliefs, paintings and other depictions, called to me as the subjects looked like me! Later I realised the depths of white supremacy when the ancient Egyptians were written as ‘white’ or referred to as such. Something told me, an inkling one could say, that this was sheer and utter crap. I started to notice that white supremacy permeated every aspect of society, this realization coupled with the racist name calling, still, however, it was a ‘feeling’. Being a kid one couldn’t expect me to put terms to it, all I knew was that they were mostly if not all racist. In the future I would be bombarded with the colour-blind bullshit but I ignored it. When I chose to comment on it in my child’s mind, it was to disdain it. You see, the whites always came out on top. I also realized that they need black folks to look down on in order to feel ‘superior’ and good about themselves. That is the gist of their racism in a nutshell; ‘cant ‘let go of our ‘supremacy’ along with the power and privileges that go with it,’ can we now?, seems to be their canard.

‘There is nothing new under the sun’ as the old axiom goes! Many blacks I came across were not immune to the white wash and I have met many! As a child I noticed another trend among some blacks and that was the ‘go along to get along’ mentality. If you can’t beat them join them as it were! These same kids would let themselves be subjected to degradations such as ‘nigger’ jokes and laugh along with the white kids until they themselves were called nigger (or nigger wakeup calls as the Yanks refer to it). These same incipient kerchief heads would laugh at and torment other racialized people and fellow blacks. Suffice it to say, they didn’t get very far. Hopefully they woke up and snapped out of it! Perversely, I am glad I got mine when I was three as I didn’t have to waste time being totally ignorant, knowing something was ‘up’ but not what. It progressed from there. Rather than internalize it, I decided to educate myself as I sure as hell didn’t get any black history education in school. I am glad I did. I was also educated about my family history. I can trace my lineage back a few hundred years. I started to study black history from a young age as I was, am, a voracious reader. A word of advice, if you are not taught your family and black history, seek it out. Learning about yourself and your people goes a long way in arming yourself against the racist onslaught whether overt or covert. Once you get hip to the time of day it is, you see the absurdity in these people and hopefully are able to laugh at much of their shenanigans for the most part, in the least you can just shake your head. The blacks who are unaware, even at a visceral level will be in for a rough ride. ‘Woe is me’ has never been my clarion call! Did I ever have moments of doubt? Sure, but upon reflection I gave my head a shake and got over it. I learned that in order to navigate your way through a white supremacist society you must empathetically know yourself. Foremost, I have to thank my elders, especially my grandmother for beginning my education. As long as whites cling to the mantle of ‘whiteness’, there will be no surcease in the foreseeable future. I am beginning to think racism is inherent in their nature. Who am I kidding? I know it is no matter how well meaning, nice, or kind and caring they may appear. Racism surfaces eventually believe me. One coping mechanism is to laugh at them. Seek out other blacks of like mind. Go with your intuition if it hasn’t been squelched yet. If you can, try to ‘wake’ others up’. To those who are not, wake up!

Part II, Introduction to Code upcoming.

White Supremacy in a nutshell, at least of the more benign kind! Kenny sed tho.


  1. #1 by darqbeauty on June 12, 2013 - 19:24

    Good post, Sis!

  2. #2 by Herneith on June 12, 2013 - 20:12


  3. #3 by Brothawolf on June 18, 2013 - 00:23

    Excellent post.

  4. #4 by kidether on July 14, 2013 - 17:04

    Excellent post! I Never really was taught about the kind of racism I’ve experienced rather it be online, or In public. The first time I’ve ever been called a nigger in public was when I was 13. This white guy pulled up by me while I was walking my dog and straight up said Nigger. It was shocking but I shrugged it off. Previously I’ve been called nigger on xbox live I shrugged that off too. I thought people just found no reason to hate based on what my parents told me. When I was going to tenth grade in the summer I was bored turned on the computer and someone I was subscribed to on YouTube did an article about this Black guy who was killed so viciously by white teenagers. I looked at the comments and people were saying “It’s just a nigger who cares” “Blacks do this all the time” “Who cares he’s a coon” ect. I replied back to one whom I addressed as a troll. He replied back saying something racial I forget and told other whites to visit stormfront. I took a look at what it was and ever since that day I saw just how whites thought behind computers. There are also multiple racist sites that I’ve been to WAY worse than stormfront that I won’t bother linking here. So ever since then the racism I’ve encountered has been more scientific especially when I tried to find my self searching ancient black history than just hateful. Sorry for the wall of text.

  5. #5 by TorontoGirl on July 19, 2013 - 21:55

    You’re from Toronto? Yay, me too! Finally someone Canada that doesn’t think we’re all post-racial…
    Do u still live there?
    My first experience was watching TV and realizing all the black girls were sassy…I was like 3 or 4.
    I tried to ignore the covert racism, I knew in my heart and mind was there, but pretended to be colourblind until i went to a public school for one year and the Asian kids started saying the n word and mean things about BM and people…these were people in my area, they I didn’t even know we’re racist…cuz I went to a private school farther away…
    It woke me up quick, to what I already knew! I had a good self image I loved my skin, my nose, and lips from a young age because I was surrounded by pictures of beautiful black people…

    I had a teacher say Egyptians were Caucasians I was like wtf…the same guy who said he was 0.05% Native American, did that mean he wasn’t white? Caucasian has a racist meaning btw so ill just say white…

    ****click on my name, to see a beautiful tumblr full of beautiful black people, and pictures of Africa***
    ***What country apart from Canada are you from btw?****

  6. #6 by TorontoGirl on July 19, 2013 - 21:58

    I remember on photo day we were in a line to go to the gym, and I turned around to find a group of kids touching my hair from behind me and going “wow!” Messing up my hair! No one ever asks to touch my hair, they just do it! Never has anyone asked for my permission to even touch me… 😦
    When I found out other bw had experienced it, I knew that smth was up

  7. #7 by Whitesareevil on January 1, 2014 - 21:20

    I really like this post. I agree with the post and I have had similar experiences with racism

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