The Kerchief Head Part One

“Oh I wish I was in Dixie hurrah hurrah”!

Hi. My name is Cindy and I am all that and a bag of chips, or a couple of hundred bags! In the parlance of a teenage boy, I am a triple bagger! Just ask all the self-loathing black men who go for my type! My selling point? Why my white skin bitches! I am white and ugly but despite this, I can still steal any black man from you Negresses. Besides, kerchief heads are a dime a dozen so I don’t have to work that hard! Being ‘thick’ also helps as black men love fat bitches especially white ones!

Beware the kerchief head!  Yes folks, they are dangerous!  They will do anything and everything to fuck you up either wittingly or unwittingly!  Here is a list of some types of these self-hating toe rags!  The list is not exhaustible!  More’s the pity!

1.  The white washed clown.  The black person who loves all things white at the expense of their own culture.  While a healthy person can and does enjoy aspects of diverse cultures, these buffoons worship the ground that the white folk walk on and will denigrate, deride and insult their own culture and folk.  No, we are not all alike nor should we subscribe to a herd mentality.  However, knowing thyself is loving thyself.  There is nothing wrong with liking other modes of speech, music or cuisine for that matter, just don’t down your own.  For these fools, white is always right!

Kerchiefs for the kerchief heads! What’s your favourite colour?

2.  The back stabbing negro!  They will stab you in the back, sabotage your projects at work, spread scurrilous rumours against you at work especially if you are one of the few negroes or negresses  high up within a company!  They will treat other blacks in a disdainful manner, all towards the goal of advancement.  If you are a self aware Negro, they will play on that, knowing you will not take it anywhere as you don’t want to hurt your own kind.  They do not see the forest for the trees which will allow them to make such colour blind statements as, “I am an individual not just a negro, there is more to me than just my colour”!  Too bad the average white doesn’t see you as such.  Fellow blacks know you are an individual unfortunately many whites don’t.  Even when  they are asked such seemingly stupid questions; ‘why do black people____insert inane question, thinking you are on hand solely to give them lessens in negrology, they jump for joy.  These particular kerchief heads are clueless and think these whites are trying to educate themselves by asking inane questions they would never dream of asking another white person except in jest.  But then again, there are also many dumb and clueless white folk out there!  Two dummies don’t make it right!  These kerchief heads will only oblige as they themselves are not like the other negroes and they revel in the chance to kiss a white person’s backside.  These clowns are bombarded on a daily basis with micro-aggressions but will deny, deny, deny them until they drop dead of a heart attack or a stroke, or realize  what day it is and succumb to bitterness and, or, depression.   There are other traits too many to enumerate here, sad but true folks!

3.  The ol shuck and jive artist!

Billy’s’ my name, shucking and jiving for the white man is my game sah! Do dar do dar!

At least with this poor sod, shucking and jiving may have been one of the few avenues where he could have actually made a fairly good living.  What’s up with today performers not to mention the every day shuck and jive artist?  Whites love it when you sing rap songs about bitches, committing crimes and other unsavory practices.  It makes them feel good to look down on the negroes in a patriarchal manner. Modern day minstrels I call them.  Those negroes and their shenanigans!

Hi, my name is Stepin Fetchit. In case you didn’t know I was once a famous actor. I had to take on roles of such degrading quality because I couldn’t get a decent one. I had to pander to the racist stereotypes of the day. What’s your excuse?

4.  Treating other blacks as if they are shit because ‘you are not like them dammit!’   You’re a rare breed, someone who ‘speaks’ properly, isn’t loud, does not have unwanted children by different fathers, isn’t on welfare, does not indulge in a profligate lifestyles, doesn’t speak in slang or black dialects such as Ebonics or patois, doesn’t dress in ‘loud’ tight fitting clothes,  doesn’t curse and carry on in public(something I have made a hobby of!); in other words, the requisite stereotypes which are ascribed to blacks as a whole by whites.  No sir, you ain’t one of them, you are a good negro!

5.  The buffoon who goes around acting out the very stereotypes about black folk that most white people are conversant with.  They play up these stereotypes to the hilt in order to make some cash or to give their non existent ego a boost when whites laugh and chuckle at their antics, or love the fact that their stereotypes about blacks have been confirmed.  Many of today’s entertainers fit into this mold.  They will down their own kind but unlike # 4, revel in their self-hatred and hatred by extension of fellow blacks if it will get them ahead.

6.  The clueless dumb fuck who doesn’t realize they are being taken for a ride but will go for the ride none the less.  I actually pity these suckers.  These are the ones who are devastated when they realize that all their white behind kissing doesn’t  get them anywhere.  These are the ones who are plagued with stress related ailments and profess to not know why.  For those that do finally realize, they are devastated.  I have personally seen the effects at close quarters on these types, not all black but other racialized people.  It seems the more white behind you kiss, the more devastating the effects.

For those who love kissing white ass, here’s something you’ll find indispensable! Buy one of these buttocks ‘mouse’ and you can kiss white behind all day! A white ass will be at your disposal so you can kiss it whenever you get the ‘urge’. 9.99 plus shipping and handling! Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back. It’s yours for 30 days on a trial basis!

I could go on and on and on and on……  My advice?  Don’t get too complacent, we all suffer from some form of kerchief headism, it varies.  Some are fortunate and have managed to denude themselves of most of this scourge.  However, knowing what day it is goes a long way in ridding oneself of its’ deleterious effect!  I think I’ll go and curse out my neighbour now.  Good day!

  1. #1 by diaryofanegress on August 29, 2012 - 18:24

    I used to work with a kerchief head. I pitied her. She was a light-skinned Negress who believed that she was “one of them.” Once I overheard her asking them “what kind of suntan lotion do you use!”

    Astonishing! Apparently, she wanted to know so she could use the same thing.

  2. #2 by satanforce on August 31, 2012 - 06:20

    What’s wrong with fucking fat white chicks?They love me……unlike you people.

  3. #3 by Herneith on August 31, 2012 - 11:52

    Nothing, to each his own. One thing, how would you pump her?

  4. #4 by SomeGuy on September 1, 2012 - 15:11

    I would be afraid if she gave me oral that something would go in, but nothing would come out!

  5. #5 by Herneith on September 1, 2012 - 15:48

    Keep it in your pants and you won’t have to worry about it.

  6. #6 by Mz. Nikita on February 7, 2014 - 06:45

    Danggg Herneith, tell ’em how you really feel though(?) LOL That was the best breakdown of Kerchief-ology that I have ever had the pleasure of reading, and I especially like how you didn’t let the rest of the POC crowd off the hook, either! This blog rocks, and I am eagerly anticipating Chapter 2 of the Kerchief Saga!!! 😀

  7. #7 by Herneith on February 7, 2014 - 20:18

    Thanks. I like a good laugh and fortunately, or unfortunately, life abounds with absurdities and comedy!

  8. #8 by Courtney H. on May 3, 2014 - 23:01

    Excellent! I agree — I really like how you broke it down! Thank you!

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