From just plain funky to rank!

Yes men are pigs!  Here are some of the things that I find particularly piggish!

1.  Funky feet!  Yes men who are hygienically challenged!  There is nothing worse than a man taking off his shoes and almost flooring you with the sulfuric stench emanating off his feet.  Try dating such a man!  I went out with a man like this once and was almost floored as we were about to get the groove on.  Needless to say, I sent him on his way!  That was after he called 911 to revive me!

2.  Men who suffer from chronic halitosis!  Didn’t these fools ever hear of toothpaste and mouthwash? Truly vomit inducing!

3.  Men who have a mortal fear of soap and water!  This is self-explanatory or it should be!:

4.  Men who refuse to buy murses(man purses);

5.  Sacks of shit in cheap outfits:

6.  Hairy arsed men:

7.  Men who refuse to put the toilet seat down. I almost broke my left buttock whilst taking a piss in the middle of the night!

8.  Men who sport grotesque mustaches and refuse to wash them!

9.  Men who do-not wipe their arse-holes after taking a shit  or wash their hands after shaking hands with the devil!

10. Drunkards!  Again self explanatory!

The assholes farewell gesture!

11. The worst, cheap bastards.  I dated a man once whose idea of a ‘romantic’ evening was going to the local soup kitchen.  Before ‘dinner’ we took a turn around the local park and sat on a bench.  He then proceeded to pull out a bottle of AquaVelva and a can of apple juice.  He referred to this concoction as an aperitif.  After getting liquored up somewhat, he became amourous and wanted to hold hands!  He had the damned nerve to ask for a doggy bag at the soup kitchen!  He then panhandled for at least two hours in order to raise bus fare to get home.  He couldn’t raise enough for me so I had to walk home.  Needless to say that was our first and last date!

My failed date and his 'concoction'!

Well men are pigs and the lists of their piggery is endless but I love them anyway.  For you men who take offense, consider these words from the greatest cracker every to grace the earth:

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir…mighty scarce.

Markus Twainus.  Good day to you all!

Crackerisms 101!   There are several blogs I go to infested with crackers!  That’s right!  The oxygen thieves go out of their way to deflect, insult, and derail topics!  Their ‘white is right’ philosophy has forced me to invent a philosophy in regards to these fools!  It is called’Crackerology’, named after the ol’ crackers of yore!  Here are some of their modes of thought which I’ve culled from these blogs.

"My name is Joe Billy Bob and I am an Asshole!

1.  First and foremost in crackerology, is the White is right memo!    One goofy poster typed:  1. “Racism” is merely a form of generic human tribalism viewed at a particular focal distance. There’s nothing inherently unique about it.  Nothing unique about it eh?  Tell that to the millions assaulted mentally, physically and culturally over the centuries, but hey;’That happened to me as well’!  when in doubt, use this deflection, it works wonders as it may catch most off guard.  When this particular jackanapes was asked if he was racist, he gave another assholish reply:  As I don’t go around saying that one group is inherently superior to another group, the answer to your question is “no”.  In others words, “Yes I am a racist but will obfuscate and prevaricate so as to not give you an honest answer.  This can work wonders and is one of the most popular uses within this philosophy.  The more people you can piss off the better!  Keep em angry and confused!

2.  Overt race-based discrimination has decreased dramatically in the west over the past five decades. The gap between the economic and social outcomes of different racial groups has not narrowed accordingly.   Another load of bullocks!  Another favourite crackerism!  If it ain’t overt, than it only stands to reason that is covert fool.  The opening statement is a shining example of this.  What it really means is this; Stop whingeing niggers!  It’s not as bad as it was _(insert how many years ago).  Instead of overt, they have become covert, as racism is inherent to their psyche, some less than others with many talking in ‘code’.    They are so smart, some don’t even realize what day it is!  They ‘outsmart’ themselves!  They use phrases such as “I don’t see colour” or “Everyone is the same”!  Everyone is the same until the black person covets or aspires to something they want such as job or promotion, then you got or will get the job because you are black!  Their true ‘colours’ come to the fore!

3. ” I’m pumping, married to, or have black relatives, not necessarily in that order’!  That’s another crackerism they love to throw around.  They think that because they have deigned to confer ‘nature’s blessing’ on these   Negroes,  that the Negro should be grateful,and grateful many of these Negroes are!  That’s like a person who disdains others of the opposite gender.  They may dislike them but they will still hump them and in some instances breed with them!  Do I think all are like this! No I don’t, but I become suspicious when whites throw that into an encounter when accused of racism.  For the dunce, that usually is enough to shut them up.  I know better.

4.  Fetishizing the ‘exotic’ seems to be another crackerism.  I aint even going to go there.  I fetishize handbags, Frye boots, clothes, the list is endless.  However a common feature is that these are ‘objects’ not living, sentient beings, such as people who fetishize sentient beings.    I don’t go around fetishizing a group of men based on their ‘racial’ backgrounds!  It’s the pay cheque dummy!  I’ve had many a jerk off make remarks about always wanting to get with a ‘black chick’ in some out-of-the-way place so no one will know!  They don’t want to see you out in public as they are ‘frightened’ as to what their friends and family will think.   Men are pigs by nature but subtlety is called for here!

5.  Asking crackerish questions such as how did you get your hair like that?  I wear my hair in its’ natural state.  Over the years I have worn it short, braids,or  intermediate in length.  Now I have locks.  One fool asked me how long it took me to do my hair!  I told him I get up at three in the morning and do it every day!  He believed me!  You get queries like this constantly.  This can apply to every aspects of your appearance or perceived behaviour I just used this as an example.  Are they doing it to learn something?  Who gives a shit?  What you are is what you are, that is all they need to know!  They don’t have to know squat.  They ain’t really interested, they just want to remind you that you are ‘different’.  This is their polite way of doing so.  There are other aspects in life where these questions constantly crop up, the one I give is but a simplistic example.  There are millions more!

6.  Black men rape at a disproportionate rate within the population.  Their target?  White women!  This is usually put forward by white men!  I have a suspicions about men obsessed with a group of mens’ sexuality!  Come out of the closet!  The truth of the matter is, is that you don’t give a shit about rape victims whatever their colour.  What you are afraid of is the black man poaching your white women.  Don’t worry!  There is enough white women to go around, and get around many of these white broads do!  I find this bizarre to say the least and laughable on one level but scary on others.  These white racist men are obsessed with black men.

7.  Systemic Racism; the crackerism to end all crackerisms!  Systemic barriers are constantly being put up to stifle a black person’s aspirations.  This permeates all the ‘institutions’ in society, from the educational,  penal systems to the government.  This is how crackerism manifests itself in society as a whole.    A black person has to be over and above what is the norm in order to get these jobs in the first place.  either that, they pick some kerchief headed clown who will either do their bidding or ‘prove’ blacks can’t do that particular job.  Yet they are still accused of getting the job ‘because they are black’.  In school they will try to stifle your intellect through ‘streaming’.  This is a generational thing that is still going on.  These turds seem to have it for black boys in particular.  If you show above-average intelligence as a small child, that is when they start.  Many succumb to these ‘ministrations’ and subsequently, this will manifest itself in so-called ‘stereotypical behaviour’,  Being shat on from birth doesn’t count.  Everything is your fault, there is no culpability involved.  The fact of the matter is, is that they have dumbed you down so much, you may not even know why you do the things you do!   Those that succeed do so in spite of the system.

8.  Blacks infested with crackeritis!  Good ol kerchief heads.  They take white is right to the nth degree.  Watch out!  They will fuck you up either blatantly or out of cluelessness.  I don’t know which one is more dangerous; the blatant ones or the deluded clueless one!  In any case don’t engage them.  There are also the ones who suffer from this moderately.  Before you give yourself a pat on the back though, we all suffer from it whatever the degree.  The trick is to realize this rather than try to explain it away or rationalize it.  It’s like being a chronic drunkard, you will always be in recovery!

Crackerology is a wide-ranging philosophy as you can see. To quote that most greatest and most illustrative cracker ever:

“Be Yourself” is about the worst advice you can give to people.”

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.

Good Day to You!

Mark Twain